she goes out and steals the king's english
02 February 2020 @ 05:17 pm
HEY THERE. I'm gyzym, which makes me that girl your mother warned you about, assuming your mother thought to caution you about long-winded Jewish bisexual writer-types who accidentally named themselves after semen. You can call me Jizz or Jizzy; don't worry, everyone else does.

At one point this journal consisted almost entirely of fanfiction, which I continue to churn out like mad whenever I've got a free moment. However, at some point what limited self-control I had abandoned me entirely, and now this is a space full of fanfiction and assorted other nonsense. I post about queer theory, feminism, my lunatic relations and their increasingly nonsensical antics, Judaism, poetry, music, hilarious shit I have found on the internet, food, and, obviously, fandom. Every couple month I host a round of what I call the Inspiration Meme, where folks use the comments to post their favorite poems, songs, artwork, videos, etc. I've written fanfic for Hawaii 5-0, Inception, Sherlock Holmes (various incarnations), White Collar, Harry Potter, Veronica Mars, The Brothers Bloom, and a plucky little webcomic called Lackadaisy, but the list is growing all the time. I don't draw--no one wants to see that, trust me--but I occasionally rec fantastic artwork I have found. I do dick around a fair amount and make a lot of jokes; it's okay to laugh at them, even if they're at my own expense.

My tagging system makes approximately no sense at all; I find it hilarious to invent inane, random tags, because, um. Because it is hilarious? Not helpful for organization purposes, but hilarious. Thus, for quick reference, the specific thing you're seeking miiiiight be:

The Fanfiction Masterlist
Inspiration Meme, Round One
Inspiration Meme, Round Two
The "insanity runs in my family" tag
The macro post tag (AKA: hilarious shit what I have found on the internet)
Bisexuality in 5,000 Words
You're Awesome Just The Way You Are
To The Asshole Who Said I Don't Look Jewish
Children of the 90s, Rise Up

[If you're looking for that poll where every choice was Scotty Caan's ass, I apologize. I would link to it, but it was pretty much the peak of my hilarity; I'd hate for you to start there, because nothing else will ever measure up. Also, I can't find it.]

I work hard, as do the awesome folks on my flist, to make this journal a safe space for everyone, regardless of religion, ethnicity, nationality, gender identity or sexual orientation. We're everything-positive here! You will not find me girl-bashing or making jokes about rape, sexuality, gender identity, or sexual assault, and I will quash anything of that nature that goes on in the comments. You also will not find me apologizing for my opinions, but you will find my apologizing for my mistakes.

Speaking of which, on the topic of problematic elements in my fanworks: should you find something, whilst reading one of my stories, that offends you/is incorrect/could offend others/is in any way problematic, please please please do not hesitate to tell me. I will never spew hate at you, I will never attack you, and I will always thank you for taking the time to let me know.

On friending: you can always go ahead and friend me, you do not need to ask, and you can always go ahead and defriend me, you do not need to apologize. If you'd like, you can leave a little hello in these comments, I'd love to get to know you!

On miscellaneous other things: the LJ name is a nod to Allen Ginsberg's "Howl" (I told you it was an accident), and it's pronounced exactly like you think it's pronounced. Sometimes I talk about Burro and Burrito, my little brothers; Burro's nineteen and a fraternity brother, Burrito's eleven and an aspiring rockstar. Oh, and I have the attention span of a drunk, overstimulated gnat, and I am sometimes terrible about answering comments. It's not you, it's me--believe me, this is one of those circumstances where you can trust that I actually mean that.

I can be found under the same name on Twitter, tumblr, Archive of our Own, Dreamwidth, and delicious. I'm not any saner in any of these places, but hey, a girl can try. ♥
 
 
she goes out and steals the king's english
Title: Advanced Ambulatory Ichthyology
Pairing: Troy Barnes/Abed Nadir
Wordcount: 48,844
Notes: This story picks up a few months after Season 3 of Community; if you are not caught up, it may not make sense. Please see the work on Ao3 for more notes!
Summary: Course provides advanced instruction in avoidance of the phenomenon commonly known as "jumping the shark." Prerequisites for this course include Introduction to Friendship, Contemporary Best Friendship, The Politics of Emotional Baggage and Cohabitation 207. Students may wish to simultaneously enroll in our sister course, Introduction to Non-Traditional Romance, but said enrollment is optional.
 
 
she goes out and steals the king's english
Title: we were emergencies
Pairing: Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov
Rating: NC-17
Wordcount: ~37,000
Notes: The title of this has been culled from the Buddy Wakefield poem of the same name, and this story could not have been produced without: fuck-it-fire-everything, who handily provided me with the soundtrack that got me through; sirona_gs, who checked my Clint characterization with her expert eye; postcardmystery, who is, as ever, my better half in all things fiction and...nope, in all things period, actually; and, of course, Marie, who created the gorgeous piece of art that inspired half of this tale and THEN the un-be-fucking-lievable illustration for the story itself. You guys are the best people on earth, and I seriously would not have gotten through this without you.
Summary: It's not about being unmade; it's about remaking, one aching step at a time.




I grappled, in writing this story, with how on earth I was going to manage the trigger warnings I know it requires. In the end, I've decided to do it this way, since I think those warnings merit some explanation, both of where they're coming from and why I decided to write this in the first place. This explanation contains spoilers for the story, and thus can be found in the endnotes on Ao3, and, additionally, under this cutCollapse )
 
 
she goes out and steals the king's english
This was supposed to be a quick little tumblr fic, and then it just...got away from me. I BLAME BUCKY BARNES. And also postcardmystery, but I assume that goes without saying at this point.

Title: The New Victories of Old Brooklyn
Pairing: Steve/Bucky
Rating: PG
Wordcount: ~3.5K
Summary: In which boys are stupid, strawberries are eaten, and the 21st century is exactly what it was cracked up to be.

The New Victories of Old BrooklynCollapse )
 
 
she goes out and steals the king's english
Behold! The promised sequel to Living on Wildfires, which you will certainly need to read for this story to make any sense at all. If all goes according to plan, there will be one more story in this arc, to appear in the near future.

Once again and for the record: like Harry Potter, this is a war story. Unlike Harry Potter, it is very up-front about that fact. I'm calling this a choose-not-to-warn experience, because there are things I am dealing with within for the sole reason that the books set them up and didn't deal with them; please proceed with due caution.

Title: Living on Land Mines
Rating: R
Summary: It is the most important lesson you will ever learn, and the one no one particularly wishes to teach you, so I will say it again: magic is intent.

Living on Land MinesCollapse )
 
 
she goes out and steals the king's english
And then I went crazy and wrote 5.5K of Discworld fic. This is because of, and very much for, postcardmystery, who is the root of all my madness and the cure for all my evil.

Title: a shot in the dark aimed right at my throat
Rating: PG
Pairing: Sam Vimes/Lady Sybil/Lord Vetinari
Summary: In which Vimes is Vetinari's bulldog, Vetinari is Vimes' headache, and they're both of them Lady Sybil's boys.

a shot in the dark aimed right at my throatCollapse )
 
 
she goes out and steals the king's english
So, there was a prompt at the Could Have Beens AU Comment Ficathon (which is great fun, you guys should check it out) that read as follows: "Dumbledore/Grindelwald; Ariana doesn't die, Dumbledore sticks with Grindelwald." And what I intended to do was...look at it and then look away, honestly. What I'm actually doing is more or less a re-envisioning of the entire HP canon, set in the Marauder era, that works around this concept and what such a change might have wrought. This is the first part, and if things go according to plan, there will be two more.

Like Harry Potter, this is a war story; unlike Harry Potter, it is very up-front about that fact. I'm going to call this one a choose-not-to-warn experience, because there are things I am dealing with within for the sole reason that the books set them up and didn't deal with them; please proceed with due caution.

Title: Living on Wildfires
Rating: R
Summary: In a house in Godric's Hollow, three boys toss their magic around and a little girl dies…unless.

Living on WildfiresCollapse )
 
 
she goes out and steals the king's english
Title: all i want of the world, coming down
Pairing: Arthur/Eames
Rating: PG
Wordcount: ~2K
Author's Note: Every now and again, an old itch crops up. Unending thanks to postcardmystery, for encouraging this itch, reading the result, and helping me title and summarize the damn thing.
Summary: Dreaming, driving, dying; this is a story about how things don't change.

all i want of the world, coming downCollapse )
 
 
she goes out and steals the king's english
Title: The Only John Wayne Left in This Town
Pairing: Clint/Darcy
Rating: PG-13
Notes: Okay, first of all, this story comes with a mix; that file contains every song mentioned in this story, plus a bonus Luke Bryan song, because this fic was called "Gonna Watch You Make Me Fall In Love" until the last minute. Secondly, ridiculous thanks to fuck-it-fire-everything, marielikestodraw, siriaeve and postcardmystery for reading this and reassuring me I was not completely out of my mind, and of course to angelgazing, for whom I wrote it in the first place. You guys are the best ♥
Summary: Clint's got a secret love, and it's spelled b-a-n-j-o.
 
 
she goes out and steals the king's english
Uh, right. So, I was going to put something all eloquent about my process here, but honestly, I accidentally wrote a Molly Hooper novel and I'm REALLY tired, so <3 Fic is posted exclusively at Ao3, because it's 56,000 words long and I just couldn't bear to make six LJ posts.

All my love and thanks to Marie, who drew the EXTRAORDINARY art that goes along with this story and cheered me along through the frankly insane process of writing it; to leupagus, who told me to go for it when I said "So I'm thinking about writing a massive Molly Hooper story,"; and, of course, to postcardmystery, who not only kept me going as always, but tirelessly corrected all my terrible Americanisms, did like 99% of my research for me and explained to me the--as it turns out, significant--differences between grilled cheese, cheese toasties, and cheese on toast. This was a labor of love, and it wouldn't have happened without you guys <3

Title: An Avalanche of Detour Signs
Pairing: Molly Hooper/Greg Lestrade [Molly Hooper/Jim Moriarty, unrequited Molly Hooper/Sherlock Holmes]
Rating: R
Wordcount: 56,053
Warnings: This fic covers the entirety of Molly's experience for both seasons of Sherlock, and thus deals with the aftermath of her relationship with Jim Moriarty. As such, there are some sexual trauma themes in this story; if, for your own self-care, that is not the kind of thing you should be reading, please give this story a pass.
Summary: In which Molly Hooper gets a job, gets a degree, breaks a heart, has her heart broken, falls in love, keeps a secret, saves a life, runs a morgue, falls apart, pulls it together, and finds exactly what she didn't know she was looking for--not necessarily in that order.



Read it here, folks.