OBVIOUSLY THE SOLUTION TO THIS PROBLEM WAS TO MAKE A CLASSIC ROCK ARTHUR/EAMES FANMIX, AMIRITE?
A caveat: this is obviously not all of classic rock. This is, in fact, the classic rock I grew up with--my father is a hippie, he just hides it well, and my parents sung Simon & Garfunkel and Three Dog Night as lullabies when my brothers and I were kids. You'll notice that Led Zeppelin doesn't make an appearance, for example, because my father has always said that No Self-Respecting Deadhead Listens To Robert Plant (the capital letters were implied).
So, uh. Here's 12 songs that actually kind of tell a story about Arthur and Eames, and then five more that have very little relevance, but should just be in everyone's iTunes. Because...because they should be. Because I insist? IT'S FREE MUSIC OKAY, DON'T QUESTION ME.
I even titled this one, just for you guys.
Hell in A Bucket, The Grateful Dead
You analyze me, attempt to despise me
You laugh when I stumble and fall
There may come a day I will dance on your grave
If unable to dance I'll still crawl 'cross it
If unable to dance I will crawl
Yeah, if unable to dance I'll crawl
You must really consider the circus
It just might be your kind of zoo
I can't think of a place that's more perfect
For a person as perfect as you.
[…]
You imagine me sipping champagne from your boot
for a taste of your elegant pride
I may be going to hell in a bucket, babe
but at least I'm enjoying the ride
Burning Down The House, The Talking Heads
Here's your ticket pack your bag; time for jumpin' overboard
Transportation is here
Close enough but not too far, maybe you know where you are
Fightin' fire with fire
All wet yeah you might need a raincoat
Shakedown thieves walking in broad daylight
Three hundred sixty five degrees
You Can Call Me Al, Paul Simon
A man walks down the street
It's a street in a strange world
Maybe it's the Third World
Maybe it's his first time around
He doesn't speak the language
He holds no currency
He is a foreign man
He is surrounded by the sound, the sound
Cattle in the marketplace
Scatterlings and orphanages
He looks around, around
He sees angels in the architecture
Spinning in infinity
He says Amen! and Hallelujah!
If you'll be my bodyguard
I could be your long-lost pal
All I Want, Joni Mitchell
I am on a lonely road and I am traveling
Traveling, traveling, traveling
Looking for something, what can it be
Oh I hate you some, I hate you some, I love you some
Oh I love you when I forget about me
Running On Empty, Jackson Browne
Running on, running on empty
Running on, running blind
Running on, running into the sun
But I'm running behind
Everyone I know, everywhere I go
People need some reason to believe
I don't know about anyone but me
If it takes all night, that'll be all right
If I can get you to smile before I leave
Suite: Judy Blue Eyes, Crosby Stills Nash & Young
It's getting to the point
Where I'm no fun anymore
I am sorry
Sometimes it hurts so badly
I must cry out loud
I am lonely
I am yours, you are mine
You are what you are
And you make it hard
Remember what we've said and done and felt
About each other
Oh babe, have mercy
Don't let the past remind us of what we are not now
I am not dreaming
I am yours, you are mine
You are what you are
You make it hard
Lonesome Day, Bruce Springsteen
Once I thought I knew
Everything I needed to know about you
Your sweet whisper, your tender touch
But I didn't really know that much
Joke's on me, it's gonna be okay
If I can just get through this lonesome day
[…]
Better ask questions before you shoot
Deceit and betrayal's bitter fruit
It's hard to swallow, come time to pay
That taste on your tongue don't easily slip away
I'm Down, The Beatles
I waited all alone, thinking of nobody else
You still moan "Keep your hands to yourself"
I'm down, I'm down, I'm down, I'm down
How can you laugh when you know I'm down
Oh, how can you laugh when you know I'm down
Vienna, Billy Joel
It's too bad, but it's the life you lead
You're so ahead of yourself
That you forgot what you need
Though you can see when you're wrong
You know you can't always see when you're right
You got your passion, you got your pride
But don't you know that only fools are satisfied?
Dream on but don't imagine they'll all come true
When will you realize
Vienna waits for you
Tonight I'll be Staying Here With You, Bob Dylan
Throw my ticket out the window
Throw my suitcase out there too
Throw my troubles out the door
I don't need them any more
'Cause tonight I'll be staying here with you
I should have left this town this morning
But it was more than I could do
Oh, your love comes on so strong
And I've waited all day long
For tonight when I'll be staying here with you
Chelsea Morning, Joni Mitchell
Woke up, it was a Chelsea morning
And the first thing that I knew
There was milk and toast and honey
And a bowl of oranges, too
And the sun poured in like butterscotch
And stuck to all my senses
Oh, won't you stay
We'll put on the day
And we'll talk in present tenses
Not Fade Away, The Grateful Dead
I'm gonna tell you how it's gonna be
You're gonna give your love to me
And I'm gonna love you night and day
No, our love will not fade away
☊
AND THEN SOME EXTRA SONGS I JUST THINK EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE, OKAY, BECAUSE THEY'RE AWESOME AND CLASSIC AND IT AMUSES ME TO IMAGINE EAMES AND ARTHUR DANCING AROUND THE LIVING ROOM SINGING THEM WHEN THEY THINK THE OTHER ONE ISN'T HOME:
Low Rider, War
All my friends know the low rider
The low rider is a little higher
Low rider drives a little slower
Low rider is a real goer
Low rider knows every street yeah
Low rider is the one to meet yeah
Low rider don't use no gas now
Low rider don't drive to fast
Play That Funky Music, Wild Cherry
Hey, Once I was a funky singer playin' in a Rock and Roll Band
I never had no problems, yeah
Burnin' down one night stands
And everything around me, yeah
Got to stop to feelin' so low And I decided quickly (Yes I did)
To disco down and check out the show
Baba O'Riley, The Who
(NB: If you call this song Teenage Wasteland, I WILL CUT YOU. &hearts)
Out here in the fields
I fight for my meals
I get my back into my living.
I don't need to fight
To prove I'm right
I don't need to be forgiven.
Fat Bottomed Girls, Queen
Oh won't you take me home tonight?
Oh down beside your red firelight,
Oh and you give it all you got
Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round
I Want You Back, The Jackson Five
Oh baby give me one more chance
To show you that I love you
Won't you please let me
back in your heart
Oh darlin' I was blind to let you go
To let you go baby
But now since I see you in his arms
I want you back
(This one is last because…well. Because in my heart of hearts--in my heart of hearts, you guys--Arthur and Eames are in a car, and this song comes on, and Eames starts humming along, and Arthur says "How do you even know this song," and Eames says "Being British isn't actually a handicap, darling," and they grin at each other and then SING THE CHORUS AT THE TOP OF THEIR LUNGS LIKE JACKASSES. In my heart of hearts, that is what is going on. I cannot help myself.)
Download it here, folks.